Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Interview with Julie Kennedy














Julie Kennedy

In the last 5 years, what new belief, behavior or habit has improved your life?

"Neurons that fire together wire together” – not a new idea, but new(er) to me. It’s the reason we can get stuck in counterproductive thought patterns that are so difficult to undo. Basically – we all create narratives for ourselves to help our brains make sense of things. 

The downside is the power of a narrative that’s negatively-oriented and well-ingrained. A book I read likened it to “running laps in hell”. The more you think a thought, the more you feed that narrative with surprisingly unrelated information that your brain spins to strengthen it. 

Once I realized that how I assess the “reality” of a situation was so heavily dependent on a narrative I was creating, and that I have the power to change my own narratives, it totally changed how I approach different situations. At the very least, I can catch my narratives in play and interrupt them by questioning my assumptions. Those little interruptions over time help me erode my unproductive thinking and reclaim power over my own mind.

What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last 6 months or in recent memory?

This is a purchase from a bit more than 6 months ago, but it would be our dog, Max. He was a rescue from a high-kill shelter and we adopted him as an adult dog. He has severe abandonment issues, barks too much, has no idea how to walk properly on a leash, and treats most unfamiliar people as if they are dangerous strangers out to kidnap me. He believes he has the build of a mastiff but in reality he’s a 12-lb chihuahua mix. I love his goofy confidence – he showed up at our house and acts like he owns the place. I also love his gratitude - I think I can see in him an awareness that, between a cozy home and LOTS of tasty food dropped on the floor from 3 kids at mealtime, he’s won the dog lottery.

In the last 5 years, what have you become better at saying no to?

A desire to want to be liked by everyone. The older I get, the more comfortable I am with myself, including the pieces that may not please everyone else. I’ve also learned that if your goal is to have everyone like you, 1) that is nearly impossible anyway so chasing it is a waste of time, and 2) if you do actually achieve it, you’ve probably made too many compromises with yourself along the way. This is still a work in progress for me, but the more I let go of needing to get everyone else’s approval, the more I free up space in my head for meaningful and genuine self-improvement.

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?

I clean my space, whether it’s my office or my kitchen or anywhere else that feels cluttered. With 3 small children, I have learned to live with a certain amount of constant clutter, but when I’m overwhelmed it’s the first thing I need to fix. Then I take a run – it clears my head and gives me energy.


What is one of the best or worthwhile investments you have ever made?

I started doing triathlons after my youngest child was born 3 years ago. It’s an investment of time, money, and energy but it pays back way more than I put in. It’s a solitary sport, which is great for me because as an introvert I require time alone. It’s also taught me a lot about myself – how I handle unpredictability and discomfort, how to push myself (and equally important, when not to push), how to pace yourself, how to persist through long challenging times, how to be grateful for having the time/resources/mobility to even do things like this in the first place. To be clear: I’m not particularly great or fast, but that’s not why I’m out there!