Julie Kennedy
In the last 5
years, what new belief, behavior or habit has improved your life?
"Neurons that fire together wire together” –
not a new idea, but new(er) to me. It’s the reason we can get stuck in
counterproductive thought patterns that are so difficult to undo. Basically –
we all create narratives for ourselves to help our brains make sense of things.
The downside is the power of a narrative that’s negatively-oriented and
well-ingrained. A book I read likened it to “running laps in hell”. The more
you think a thought, the more you feed that narrative with surprisingly
unrelated information that your brain spins to strengthen it.
Once I realized
that how I assess the “reality” of a situation was so heavily dependent on a
narrative I was creating, and that I have the power to change my own
narratives, it totally changed how I approach different situations. At the very
least, I can catch my narratives in play and interrupt them by questioning my
assumptions. Those little interruptions over time help me erode my unproductive
thinking and reclaim power over my own mind.
What purchase
of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last 6
months or in recent memory?
This is a purchase from a bit more than 6
months ago, but it would be our dog, Max. He was a rescue from a high-kill
shelter and we adopted him as an adult dog. He has severe abandonment issues,
barks too much, has no idea how to walk properly on a leash, and treats most
unfamiliar people as if they are dangerous strangers out to kidnap me. He
believes he has the build of a mastiff but in reality he’s a 12-lb chihuahua
mix. I love his goofy confidence – he showed up at our house and acts like he
owns the place. I also love his gratitude - I think I can see in him an
awareness that, between a cozy home and LOTS of tasty food dropped on the floor
from 3 kids at mealtime, he’s won the dog lottery.
In the last 5
years, what have you become better at saying no to?
A desire to want to be liked by everyone. The
older I get, the more comfortable I am with myself, including the pieces that
may not please everyone else. I’ve also learned that if your goal is to have
everyone like you, 1) that is nearly impossible anyway so chasing it is a waste
of time, and 2) if you do actually achieve it, you’ve probably made too many
compromises with yourself along the way. This is still a work in progress for
me, but the more I let go of needing to get everyone else’s approval, the more
I free up space in my head for meaningful and genuine self-improvement.
When you feel
overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?
I clean my space, whether it’s my office or
my kitchen or anywhere else that feels cluttered. With 3 small children, I have
learned to live with a certain amount of constant clutter, but when I’m
overwhelmed it’s the first thing I need to fix. Then I take a run – it clears
my head and gives me energy.
What is one of
the best or worthwhile investments you have ever made?
I started doing triathlons after my youngest
child was born 3 years ago. It’s an investment of time, money, and energy but
it pays back way more than I put in. It’s a solitary sport, which is great for
me because as an introvert I require time alone. It’s also taught me a lot
about myself – how I handle unpredictability and discomfort, how to push myself
(and equally important, when not to push), how to pace yourself, how to persist
through long challenging times, how to be grateful for having the
time/resources/mobility to even do things like this in the first place. To be
clear: I’m not particularly great or fast, but that’s not why I’m out there!